I'm Very THANKFUL

When I think of what I have to be thankful for I think of a bunch of things...........

1. I'm thankful for my son Jeffery that he is a good kid who is not on drugs and drinking and most of all a SMOKER!
2. I'm Thankful for my son Dylan Pots who always remembers to say I Love You before he gets off the phone with me!
3. I'm Thankful for my daughter Samantha and giving another family the gift of a child.
4. I'm Thankful for having Mick in my life and even tho it has been hard with him in the hospital it just draws me closer.
5. I'm Thankful for Dad and Darlene for opening up their home and letting me stay there during this difficult time.
6. I'm Thankful for my Job that has been so understanding while I take time to go to Boise.
7. I'm Thankful for having such a good siblings that always have the right words on my blog when I am having a bad day.
8. I'm Thankful for my Mother who calls me and listens when I need to just talk.
9. I'm Thankful I'm alive and loosing 25 pounds and keeping it off.
10. MOST OF ALL I AM THANKFUL FOR HAVING A GOD I CAN PRAY TO WHEN EVER I NEED TO AND I KNOW HE IS LISTENING TO ME!

I will not be having the traditional Thanksgiving Dinner this year but spending the day with Mick in the hospital. A bunch of friends have decided to put there dinner on hold until Mick comes home and then get together and have Thanks Giving Dinner together. I did think about going to the Mission in Boise and seeing if I could help serve the meal for a couple of hours or help clean up.

As for Mick he will be having surgery on Friday. He is still in ICU for now and has still on the ventilator. He has a couple of weeks in the hospital to go. He is very weak but making progress. I have been working with him with moving his legs and sitting up in bed. It has been paying off. He has been getting dialysis for a medication overdose. Other then that I can't wait to bring him home.....

Mick Update

Set back today and feel just so let down. Mick was scheduled for surgery tomorrow (WED) and I had planned to come to Boise, but I get a phone call saying he has pneumonia and cant have surgery and they will re-evaluate it in 3 days again. The Dr's don't think he would benefit from a trech now and I argue that living on a ventilator is not what he wants. I got a little upset today with the whole thing for I looked forward to this being done but I guess I need to pray and have patience. It will all work out I know it will!

Recently I got a call from the social worker for a medical guardian for him and he only has a brother. His brother said he would like me and him to make any decisions for Mick together. That is a change for me. His brother has been so supportive to me.

So Dad and Darlene I will be down on Friday night and will stay for 5 days or more. Don't change the sheets or clean the towels I will be back. Thanks for all your support and having someone to talk to at the end of the day while I am there.

I wonder if God is giving me extra time to relax and rest for I will need it later. I have been so tired lately.

Does God Give US Only What We Can Handle?

I ask more and more each day if God really gives us only what we can handle? I also wonder why I was blessed with not only going through such trials as having not only one boyfriend but 2 who has been hospitalized with serous health issues. Leaving me to be by their side and I am not talking a brief stay in the hospital I am talking where you spend hour after hour watching them on a ventilator and as they struggle to understand why. Where I am reassuring them that they will survive this. That this will pass and if were lucky we will have 1 more year together.

So to update you with my last blog. Mick broke his neck in 2 places and cut his ligament in his neck. The Dr says he is just so lucky to walk. Well he had surgery on Saturday and after surgery he did not do so well coming off the ventilator. They had to put it back in and put him in ICU to watch him more close. ON Sunday he got off the ventilator and was doing well and sitting in his chair and was being moved to the floor for recovery. Once there I went home for a couple of days and in the night he pulled his feeding tube out which gave him his medication he needs for his disease. He also had damage done to his throat so he could not swallow anything without it going in his lungs. So Monday he refused to have the tube put back in because he was waiting for me to show up in Boise. After missing 3 doses of his medication he had went code blue which at this time he was brought back but put back on the ventilator. That night I got to Boise and the next morning he was taken off the ventilator when he choked on something and went code blue again and was back on the ventilator. SO the Dr said he wants to put a trech in his throat and he was scheduled for surgery Yesterday at 5pm when the Dr came in at 3pm and said there was no way due to the neck injury and the increase of infection. SO we were told next Wed or Thur he will have surgery to have this done but will have to stay on the ventilator until then. I came home to work for a couple of days and will be back this weekend. This has taken such a big toll on us.

Then I ask where is all my family or friends when I am feeling all alone at night and just need someone to cry to because I am so overwhelmed and just want to hear it's ok to feel the way I do. Tonight I tried calling 3 family members and 3 friends not one person answered the phone. Are we just so wrapped up in our own lives we don't have time to hear whats happening? Or just lend some support? Tonight I am home away from Mick and all I wanted to do is just reach out to talk and let out my frustration and talk to someone sense he can't talk.

I do have to send a special THANK YOU to Dad and Darlene for lending me their spare room while I stay in Boise. I know I don't visit much but I am so stressed with everything when I am there. Thanks for turning on the heat before I get back in at night and feeding me, I appreciate everything you have done to help.

Prayers Needed for Mick Alam

Hello Everyone,

Everyone please pray for Mick! Let me explain first. About a week and a half ago I was up at his cabin it was the first day of ELk season and it had snowed and a bunch of us were at another Elk Camp when we got home he had fell off his step. Well he complained of his neck hurting and as time went on it just got worse for him. He thought just maybe this will go away by taking pain medication. Well it didn't and finally went to the DR and he set him up with a MRI and XRAYS. Yesterday he went and the DR called saying we need to send a ambulance to your cabin. The Dr wanted to fly him to Boise for he had very serous neck injuries and one false move he will be a quadriplegic. If you know Mick that is not ok with him, one being in a ambulance and 2 in any wheel chair. SO he has agreed to come down this morning with his hunting partner to this hospital and he will have his neck stabilized and then I will take him to Walla Walla hospital where they will decide what to do. He needs your prayers! Mick has a disease called Mystathenia Gravis. Plus he has Muscular Dystrophy. Being he has this it is hard for him to have surgery due to ansthiea. He choose Walla Walla because his Neurologist is there and has treated him for years there.

I know now God gives us what we can handle and even if he was in a chair I would take care of him NO PROBLEM! I just need your prayers for a good recovery with him. I will keep you all updated.

Thanks Every One For Your Help!

Remembering Richard 3yrs Today Nov 4, 2009

Some of you may or may not know I lost the love of my life 3 years ago today. So today I am dedicating it to him and remembering that someday I will be with him.

Dear Richard,
I Love You! I Love You as much or more as the day you passed away. 3years ago I lost you to death. In the past 3 years you have come back to be with me to comfort me in so many ways. I know heavenly father has granted you being my guardian angel. Your there on my good days and my bad. You never let me down! You have guided me as I have taken so many roads and every time I really need you it seems you are there holding my hand.

Today I has been very hard on me! Unlike last year I did really well. Today I feel I am mourning you gone and just wish you were here to say it will be ok that your in a much better place. Ive cried a lot today and just wish I could hug you one more time. I know in my heart you are and that you are with our heavenly father. I pray to him every day and I know he has been there for me. I just pray he lets you come back and be with me until it's my time to go.

So take this ride with me today as I go to the summit to see if there is snow up there. The sun is shinning and it's a perfect day for the both of us. I miss you Richard and what I would give to have just one more moment in time......

Love You Always,
Dear

New Job and 1st Diet Coke but wait and read....

Ok lets just get to me having my first caffeine drink. I was sitting at home last night on Halloween and handing out candy and eating pizza and wanted a pop so bad so I decided to open a diet coke in the fridge. It was so bad tasting it was like drinking banking soda. The flavor was not like what I remembered. I only took 2 sips when I dumped it out. I went to having a glass of water for the night. I heard that once you stop drinking it for a long period of time then you loose the taste of it. Won't be doing that again.

Alright on a Great Note: I got a new job out of town. I went for my interview on a Thursday and they called me on Monday to offer me a position. Great health benefits and good pay. I have to drive 50 miles to Pendelton but I think it will be great. My first day was Friday and it was a little over-whelming. Oh whats the job? I will run the Vocational Department for this company. I have not a whole lot of experience in this part of the DD field. I looked at it as if God said you need this education and when you accomplish it you will have both Voc and Residential under your belt. I have a big office and 8 staff and 40 clients. It will be a challenge for me. My supervisor has only been there a month and knows nothing about Vocational so I will be learning it and teaching her. I need this challenge.

Christmas Music? When I sat down to write this blog I turned on the soft music on satellite and it is playing Christmas music. I just got done with Halloween now this. No worries I love Christmas music.

Halloween and Driving Drunk: As for Halloween I just love handing candy out to kids so opt out to stay home and do it this year at my home instead of going to the many parties I was invited to. I did send out a text to all my ex-staff and friends not to drink and drive that if they need a ride to call me and I will take them where ever they need to go. At 2:30 in the morning I got 3 phone calls and up out of bed I went to go take them home. I look at it as I must have saved someones life with them not getting behind the wheel of the car and driving drunk. They just were so thankful for the ride, I was just thankful I could be a help to them.

Well I hope all is well with your families and just love reading your blogs keep them commin!