Mick Update

Set back today and feel just so let down. Mick was scheduled for surgery tomorrow (WED) and I had planned to come to Boise, but I get a phone call saying he has pneumonia and cant have surgery and they will re-evaluate it in 3 days again. The Dr's don't think he would benefit from a trech now and I argue that living on a ventilator is not what he wants. I got a little upset today with the whole thing for I looked forward to this being done but I guess I need to pray and have patience. It will all work out I know it will!

Recently I got a call from the social worker for a medical guardian for him and he only has a brother. His brother said he would like me and him to make any decisions for Mick together. That is a change for me. His brother has been so supportive to me.

So Dad and Darlene I will be down on Friday night and will stay for 5 days or more. Don't change the sheets or clean the towels I will be back. Thanks for all your support and having someone to talk to at the end of the day while I am there.

I wonder if God is giving me extra time to relax and rest for I will need it later. I have been so tired lately.

Does God Give US Only What We Can Handle?

I ask more and more each day if God really gives us only what we can handle? I also wonder why I was blessed with not only going through such trials as having not only one boyfriend but 2 who has been hospitalized with serous health issues. Leaving me to be by their side and I am not talking a brief stay in the hospital I am talking where you spend hour after hour watching them on a ventilator and as they struggle to understand why. Where I am reassuring them that they will survive this. That this will pass and if were lucky we will have 1 more year together.

So to update you with my last blog. Mick broke his neck in 2 places and cut his ligament in his neck. The Dr says he is just so lucky to walk. Well he had surgery on Saturday and after surgery he did not do so well coming off the ventilator. They had to put it back in and put him in ICU to watch him more close. ON Sunday he got off the ventilator and was doing well and sitting in his chair and was being moved to the floor for recovery. Once there I went home for a couple of days and in the night he pulled his feeding tube out which gave him his medication he needs for his disease. He also had damage done to his throat so he could not swallow anything without it going in his lungs. So Monday he refused to have the tube put back in because he was waiting for me to show up in Boise. After missing 3 doses of his medication he had went code blue which at this time he was brought back but put back on the ventilator. That night I got to Boise and the next morning he was taken off the ventilator when he choked on something and went code blue again and was back on the ventilator. SO the Dr said he wants to put a trech in his throat and he was scheduled for surgery Yesterday at 5pm when the Dr came in at 3pm and said there was no way due to the neck injury and the increase of infection. SO we were told next Wed or Thur he will have surgery to have this done but will have to stay on the ventilator until then. I came home to work for a couple of days and will be back this weekend. This has taken such a big toll on us.

Then I ask where is all my family or friends when I am feeling all alone at night and just need someone to cry to because I am so overwhelmed and just want to hear it's ok to feel the way I do. Tonight I tried calling 3 family members and 3 friends not one person answered the phone. Are we just so wrapped up in our own lives we don't have time to hear whats happening? Or just lend some support? Tonight I am home away from Mick and all I wanted to do is just reach out to talk and let out my frustration and talk to someone sense he can't talk.

I do have to send a special THANK YOU to Dad and Darlene for lending me their spare room while I stay in Boise. I know I don't visit much but I am so stressed with everything when I am there. Thanks for turning on the heat before I get back in at night and feeding me, I appreciate everything you have done to help.

Prayers Needed for Mick Alam

Hello Everyone,

Everyone please pray for Mick! Let me explain first. About a week and a half ago I was up at his cabin it was the first day of ELk season and it had snowed and a bunch of us were at another Elk Camp when we got home he had fell off his step. Well he complained of his neck hurting and as time went on it just got worse for him. He thought just maybe this will go away by taking pain medication. Well it didn't and finally went to the DR and he set him up with a MRI and XRAYS. Yesterday he went and the DR called saying we need to send a ambulance to your cabin. The Dr wanted to fly him to Boise for he had very serous neck injuries and one false move he will be a quadriplegic. If you know Mick that is not ok with him, one being in a ambulance and 2 in any wheel chair. SO he has agreed to come down this morning with his hunting partner to this hospital and he will have his neck stabilized and then I will take him to Walla Walla hospital where they will decide what to do. He needs your prayers! Mick has a disease called Mystathenia Gravis. Plus he has Muscular Dystrophy. Being he has this it is hard for him to have surgery due to ansthiea. He choose Walla Walla because his Neurologist is there and has treated him for years there.

I know now God gives us what we can handle and even if he was in a chair I would take care of him NO PROBLEM! I just need your prayers for a good recovery with him. I will keep you all updated.

Thanks Every One For Your Help!

Remembering Richard 3yrs Today Nov 4, 2009

Some of you may or may not know I lost the love of my life 3 years ago today. So today I am dedicating it to him and remembering that someday I will be with him.

Dear Richard,
I Love You! I Love You as much or more as the day you passed away. 3years ago I lost you to death. In the past 3 years you have come back to be with me to comfort me in so many ways. I know heavenly father has granted you being my guardian angel. Your there on my good days and my bad. You never let me down! You have guided me as I have taken so many roads and every time I really need you it seems you are there holding my hand.

Today I has been very hard on me! Unlike last year I did really well. Today I feel I am mourning you gone and just wish you were here to say it will be ok that your in a much better place. Ive cried a lot today and just wish I could hug you one more time. I know in my heart you are and that you are with our heavenly father. I pray to him every day and I know he has been there for me. I just pray he lets you come back and be with me until it's my time to go.

So take this ride with me today as I go to the summit to see if there is snow up there. The sun is shinning and it's a perfect day for the both of us. I miss you Richard and what I would give to have just one more moment in time......

Love You Always,
Dear

New Job and 1st Diet Coke but wait and read....

Ok lets just get to me having my first caffeine drink. I was sitting at home last night on Halloween and handing out candy and eating pizza and wanted a pop so bad so I decided to open a diet coke in the fridge. It was so bad tasting it was like drinking banking soda. The flavor was not like what I remembered. I only took 2 sips when I dumped it out. I went to having a glass of water for the night. I heard that once you stop drinking it for a long period of time then you loose the taste of it. Won't be doing that again.

Alright on a Great Note: I got a new job out of town. I went for my interview on a Thursday and they called me on Monday to offer me a position. Great health benefits and good pay. I have to drive 50 miles to Pendelton but I think it will be great. My first day was Friday and it was a little over-whelming. Oh whats the job? I will run the Vocational Department for this company. I have not a whole lot of experience in this part of the DD field. I looked at it as if God said you need this education and when you accomplish it you will have both Voc and Residential under your belt. I have a big office and 8 staff and 40 clients. It will be a challenge for me. My supervisor has only been there a month and knows nothing about Vocational so I will be learning it and teaching her. I need this challenge.

Christmas Music? When I sat down to write this blog I turned on the soft music on satellite and it is playing Christmas music. I just got done with Halloween now this. No worries I love Christmas music.

Halloween and Driving Drunk: As for Halloween I just love handing candy out to kids so opt out to stay home and do it this year at my home instead of going to the many parties I was invited to. I did send out a text to all my ex-staff and friends not to drink and drive that if they need a ride to call me and I will take them where ever they need to go. At 2:30 in the morning I got 3 phone calls and up out of bed I went to go take them home. I look at it as I must have saved someones life with them not getting behind the wheel of the car and driving drunk. They just were so thankful for the ride, I was just thankful I could be a help to them.

Well I hope all is well with your families and just love reading your blogs keep them commin!

25lbs Lost and Whatever Else

Diet: I am so excited I have lost a total of 25lbs. I am so darn excited and feel so good all over. I do have to say I have had a huge craving for a pop lately and so last night I rewarded myself with buying a Pizza and Root beer no caffeine pop. I could have ordered a 2 liter when I ordered the pizza but decided to go to the gas station and buy a cup for that way I would not be tempted to drink the whole thing. I want to say I choose Root beer because it has no caffeine and I will never forget what it was like going through the withdraws of caffeine. That was horable.

Job Search: Lets see I went to a interview in Pendlelton and it went really well. I can only hope to get a job there and possibly move there. It would be closer to where Mom is moving to which at this point I need her.

Christmas Exchange: I guess I have Janet's family name and I'm excited. Funny thing is Janet your wreath that you gave me last year is still hanging on the front of the house. When I finally figured it was still hanging there It was half way through the year and so why take it down. I have Halloween web still tangled in the trees.

I guess Robert has my family and if you need a hint we would love pictures of your family! That goes for everyone I want pictures of all your families for my frames I have! I would like to fill up each frame. Each frame has 6 slots and so I have 5 of them so if each of you could send me 6 family pic's I would love it. It can be any pic of your kids or you or anything you have taken.

Mick: My relationship with Mick is going well. He is preparing to move down off the mountain after 17 years of living there year round. He rented himself a nice apartment on the top floor so when we go out on the deck it is scary for both of us considering were scarred of heights. Mick is also having a rough time with it all because he is not a people person and only comes down to town about every 5 days. He has stayed up there for years and if he was lucky someone would come by on snowmobile every 10 days. He did manage to go to the snow park by snowmobile every 2 weeks for food. That's if the person bringing the food could get to the snow park. He is so use to being alone I will just wonder how this will play out for him. Someone asked me the other day why don't I take the winter off and stay with him up on the mountain and I said because I would go nuts not having anyone to talk to but him. By the 2nd week I would have had to build my self a village of snowmen and go out and talk to them daily and they said well it would not be hard to move them for you could just roll them from place to place. For you that don't know he can not stay up there this winter because his health won't allow it. He can not maneuver his snow mobile anymore and has got sick to the point that there is no way emergency medical could get to him. Well see what happens this winter! The picture above is up at the Mick's cabin!

One Last Thing: Baseball does any of you ever watch Baseball? Well I never watched it till now. Mick is a huge fan of it and does not miss listening to it on the radio or TV. So one night I decided to watch a whole game with him and to my surprise I got into it so much I went home and the next day watched a game that was 5 hours long which is unusual. I am rooting for the Angels to go to the World Series. Mick taught me a lot about the game and was so patient with me with my 110 questions. I guess sometimes just taking up one of his greatest loves proved that Ya maybe he will keep me around another month or so.

Feel Like Someone was Watching Over Me Today!

Today I was getting ready to go out and job hunt when my TV power went out. I was boggled by this but not surprised because our power trips often in the house. So I went down stairs to the breaker box and tripped the breaker and could hear the TV come back on by the time I made it up stairs it was off again. SO I go back down and do this again to go up and be out again and seeing flames coming up my wall from the outlet. It was fully engulfed with flames. I moved quickly to try and put it out with a towel and it just kept relighting. I ran into the kitchen wondering what I could do and I tried the towel again and it went out. Something told me not to put water on it. Which was my first thought. Afterwards I called the Landlord and they came over. It was a electrical fire. I had plugged in a power strip which had 10 things plugged into it. The 3 prong plug I attached to the power strip was melted completely.

I can say someone was watching over me because the first time the power tripped I was saying I can fix it when I get back. For some reason I went and fixed it. Then it did it again because something was telling me to stay if I would have left my house would have burnt to the ground.

The fire Department did come to check for hot spots in the wall and they asked if I had been smelling rubber burn and I said yes for the past couple of days. He said anytime I can smell that to call and they will come check it all out for that is the start of a electrical fire coming.

Thank You to who ever was watching over me today!