Prayer, Sickness, Being an Adult & Listening to Mom

Last Wednesday Jeffery came down with the common cold. He has never missed a day of school for being sick in 3 years and he misses school on Thursday. Friday Morning he gets up and says I do not feel well and I have missed 2 days of school. I asked him if he would like to go to the Dr and he declined. He says no I will get feeling better. I got off work early and came home and said I will take you to the Dr he said no Mom I am feeling better, he really wasn't. Saturday he woke up with his ear in pain and no energy and blisters around his mouth. I said Jeff you have been running such a high fever you have fever blisters on your mouth. All along he has been taking cold medication. He says is that why I am sweating at times. I begged him to go to the ER and have them look at him. He refused as he coughed up a lung. Sunday morning came and I knew it had to be worse because he was not moving off the couch. He still refused to go to the ER. SO my last chance attempt was I said if I stay home from work will you go to the Dr in the morning and he said yes.

So this morning we go to the Dr to find out he has Step Throat, Ear Infection, Pneumonia & sinus infection. He had a temp of 104 with Tylenol take a hour before. Jeff is very sick the Dr says. He asks why has he not got in here. I said he is being an adult and is making choices and I am just the mom who knows nothing at this age. The DR looked at Jeff and said you could have died from all this and your mom has been with you for almost 19 years and knows a thing or 2. You should listen to her. After all that he gives Jeff a prescription for 1000mg of Amoxacillin 3x a day for 10 days and then if he is not better in 5 days he will take another med with this one.

I think this open Jeffs eyes because he asked for a blessing. He knew he was very sick from there. Jeff will not return to school for another week. He has a ways to go.

Good News for Jeff he made Honor Roll with a 3.75 Grade Average!

As for me I am moving come Saturday in the mist of all this. SO it's been stressful for all of us. I am packing as Jeffery is resting. I wish I could put the move off but everything has been arranged for me to be out of here by Monday.

What makes a Family?

This may or may not make you mad or sad or happy but what ever it is this is my take on Family!



As you all know for the past 2 months I have been down in Boise 1-2 times a week taking care of Mick and stay at Dad and Darlene's house. In this 2 months I was almost thinking I was learning who they were again......... That was until I read the blog site of Christmastime from Dad. He went on to explain how he spent Christmas and how Janet and her family stopped in. Not one mention I was around of course. Or how about the gift my 4 other siblings bought and if I was apart of it my name was left out. Then lets think of the best 16yrs of his life he has had. How his guilt of all his angry years have made him feel guilty or how he found god again.



So to give my 2 sense about it I spent my Christmas at his house and with Mick. I had Christmas Dinner with them and her family even. I never even opened 1 gift on Christmas. I didn't get any! I did get a gift card from Robbie and family but not until the 30th of December. I guess I need to say Thank You!



Now for the best 16yrs of his life with no guilt and finding god. Let me tell you it has been a great 21 years of my life...... Ya the nightmares of my child hood has never been forgotten and gosh let me think it's been 28 years this year sense the Christmas time nightmare happen when I was hospitalized. Don't get me wrong I am not living in the past for I have put a lot of it away but just staying at his house brought up all the memories of my childhood. I had nightmares and thoughts I never want to come back. I felt like I was in some kind of recovery and dealing with it all until I read the blog site.



SO let me say more........ I have 4 siblings and when people ask I say I don't know any of them. It's funny how you all have drove through La Grande either to visit Judy or Judy go visit you and not one of you could stop and say hello. Do I have the plaque? Ya you stopped once and that lasted 30 minutes to a hour at the most. It really blows me away how close you all are and how you act as if I am someone who lives in a shack with rats running around.



So to let you all know I am struggling after quiting my job. My great paying job! Yes that is my choice of doing and yes I now have a great paying job again and trying to catch up. Not only that Mick ended up in the hospital which cost a lot of money to go to Boise to take care of him. I am behind on rent yes and yes I do what I can. Something I don't do is go on vacation, or buy new clothes, I watch every dime I have. I got a job in Pendelton because I thought Mother was moving there so I got a job so I could be closer but she choose to stay in Texas because MONEY must make her more happy. I think I was told it was because a 10, 000 a year pay cut. Now I travel 50 miles a day one way to work and hope to move over the hill in May. I can say I am happy I changed jobs because the one I was in was not very positive. I LOVE MY JOB! I may just have enough money to drive back and fourth to work but at the end of the day I have a wonderful man who I love (Mick) and I have a job I enjoy having!



My story on talking to the Bishop recently, I sat down with him in his plain clothes at the church and needing some help and guidance. This is what he said: First of all you need to stop having sex with all your boyfriends. All my boyfriends I asked, he said yes you should not without being married. I informed him I don't have a bunch of boyfriends and Mick is it and to tell you the truth I have never done that with him and won't be. He then went on to say he has spoke to all of you and he knows everything about me. Interesting. Then he said I need to pray and that I haven't. OMG are you serous because I do sometimes 10x a day. He then invited me to church and told me what times. Before I left he reminded me to not stop having sex and to get rid of the boyfriends. I can say after that I had never wanted to go back to the church again. I was blown away but also upset and angry over his choice of words. I figured out that he didn't know me and making assumptions that he just assumed. Funny thing is he never told me not to drink again. I guess if he knew me he would know that about me.



SO what makes a family? Is it doing what God has asked you to do and follow it? Is it doing what you want and hopefully you can repent some day. Is it the way we treat each other by excluding one from the family because you can for some reason? Is it how well we raise our kids and who has the better set? Is it what job we have in life and what job our spouse has? Let me tell you when I get up in the morning I thank God I am still alive! I do not look at people with degrees or having good children better then me. I do not look at I am any better then anyone I come in contact with. I know what it is like to loose the love of my life and life is way to short to miss out on the good in people because I was too busy judging others for their faults!



I make the choices I have made because I know I have to answer to them someday........ Yes choose to quit my job, I also choose to take care of Mick in the hospital with not asking for anything in return. I choose to stay at Dads but I was really hoping that it would have built a relationship with him and Darlene. I choose all the paths I took, but never did without praying first about it and asking he help guild me.

I know this has been long but I want to explain something what family is to people I know. Recently on Dec 31, 2009 a couple lost their baby 2 hours after it was born. They knew this was going to happen and in the end they came to me to make some very important decisions because they feel as if I am their Mom because their family lives in another country. They use to work for me at my old job and after I left I still have 30 of the best kids that all call me mom. It's because I do not judge them or treat them different for their choices.

I don't apologize for what I said for I think you should all really ask yourself if you are following what God has asked you to do........... If you all say yes then ask yourself again and pray about it!
You don't have to go to church to have God in your life...........



As for Mick he is doing great at home. He has a long recovery! After all that has happen he is now going blind and counts on me from day to day to help him with everyday things we all take for granted. He came home Dec 31, 09. 2 days short of 2 months in the hospital!

Thanks Darlene for the sweater Janet gave it to me when she picked up Dylan on the 1st.

Thanks Janet for bringing me Dylan and taking him home. George and I appreciate it greatly.

Thanks Judy for helping me buy a car in November. I will pay you back.....

Holidays, Kids & The Grinch

Ok SO I have my share of fun at work playing the Grinch who stole Christmas. It started out by telling the clients I canceled Christmas and were all going to work right through it. They all laughed and said I couldn't cancel Christmas. SO a couple days went by when last Friday I went and took the 25th off the big calender on the wall and you should have seen the look on their face. You would have thought someone died on the spot. One client said "Oh come'on Santa is coming. So the staff in the room got together with the clients and posted a note on my back that said the Grinch that stole Christmas. I acted like I didn't know it was their and every time I walked in the room they just laughed. On Monday was the Christmas Party for them and I just had to play it up. Santa came in and I said who let him in here. It was so funny they thought they fooled me. I just love my new job it is so much fun to see how much they grow with you. Needless to say as they have left for home this year for the Holidays they all have come to tell me they won't be here to work on the 25th and I act as if I am going to be all alone on Christmas working.

For Christmas I will be going to Boise to spend it with Mick. He is still in the hospital but doing so much better. He still has a couple of weeks to go but who knows. The hospital has dragged things on with getting his Trech looked at. He can do most everything for himself and all his test look great. The only hold up is is trech.

Jeffery and I will do his Christmas on Christmas Eve. He has opt to stay home his best friend Chris is coming home from the military. Jeff can't wait to see him.

THANKS Janet for bringing Dylan home for the holidays. I owe u so much. I think it would be good to have him down for the week.

I hope to make it over to see Judy and her family soon but well see what happens.

If I had one wish for CHRISTMAS it would be that us as sibling could become closer..........

Oh one last note THANKS Dad & Darlene for all your kindness!!!!!!

Great News!

Mick Update: Mick was moved to Meridian to a Acute Care hospital in Meridian Idaho and is doing well. This is a place where you go when you have alot of things going on and need Therapy to. Yesterday was an interesting day he had texted me he needs to see his Dr that is there and if I could help. Being I am back home I called and they said she was in the building still. So I arranged she paid him a visit. He wanted to take his Mestinion again which he took for his MG which is in remission. He thought if he took that again he would feel better. She suggested he didn't need it. So funny thing is he had his speaking valve in and called me on the phone and asked me. I told him his body has been through so much trauma it is now reacting to his therapy of moving around more and is in the defense of wanting it to relax. I told him to wait a couple of months before he took the med again to see if he really needed it. I think he thought it was going to be his quick fix to get out of the Hospital. I'll tell you the highlight of it all is him calling and using his speaking valve. There is nothing like hearing someone say "I Love You" when they can't speak most of the time.

Janet you asked if he will be home by Christmas? I hope so I am hoping to bring him home the 23rd or 24th. It just depends on how well he is doing. He has a ways to go and when he does get home I will stay with him for the first week at his place. My place is way 2 cold for him. He likes it at 100 degrees and I like my place maybe 70. Plus I have 2 many steps for him to go up.


I have your Gift Janet to send I need your address. As fro Christmas unsure and it's up in the air right now. Dylan wants to stay home with his dad this year. Jeff unsure what he has plans for. I did decorate for it all will try and post pic's.

Mick Update Great News

I know that it has been a while sense I have got to write so tonight I got the best news I could from the hospital. Mick is off the ventilator now. Let me go back a few weeks tho....
Mick did have a trach put in after thanksgiving and it all went well for him. He also had his feeding tube moved to his stomach. A day after he received the Trach I went to Boise where I had to deal with a very angry person who didn't quit understand what was happening or why was he still in the hospital. He couldn't understand why he could not leave with me at night and why I could not stay with him. After a couple of days of fighting him and getting him to understand I had to lay down the law of I was not going to be abused by his angry attitude. I told him I would go home if it continued. By the 3rd day he was sound asleep all day so I went home and that night he woke fighting when a Nurse came in and told him that he can fight them or follow the rules to get out. Mick calmed down and has sense been calm enough to follow the instructions to get off the ventilator. I am now hoping to move him to Walla Walla for rehab. I will go down again Tuesday to be with him and work with the hospital to get him moved. Im so excited about it I can hardly wait to get to Boise now. Mick is off all mind altering meds and the best part of this his MG in remission. As I tell him this is what you wanted.

Ill keep you all posted

I'm Very THANKFUL

When I think of what I have to be thankful for I think of a bunch of things...........

1. I'm thankful for my son Jeffery that he is a good kid who is not on drugs and drinking and most of all a SMOKER!
2. I'm Thankful for my son Dylan Pots who always remembers to say I Love You before he gets off the phone with me!
3. I'm Thankful for my daughter Samantha and giving another family the gift of a child.
4. I'm Thankful for having Mick in my life and even tho it has been hard with him in the hospital it just draws me closer.
5. I'm Thankful for Dad and Darlene for opening up their home and letting me stay there during this difficult time.
6. I'm Thankful for my Job that has been so understanding while I take time to go to Boise.
7. I'm Thankful for having such a good siblings that always have the right words on my blog when I am having a bad day.
8. I'm Thankful for my Mother who calls me and listens when I need to just talk.
9. I'm Thankful I'm alive and loosing 25 pounds and keeping it off.
10. MOST OF ALL I AM THANKFUL FOR HAVING A GOD I CAN PRAY TO WHEN EVER I NEED TO AND I KNOW HE IS LISTENING TO ME!

I will not be having the traditional Thanksgiving Dinner this year but spending the day with Mick in the hospital. A bunch of friends have decided to put there dinner on hold until Mick comes home and then get together and have Thanks Giving Dinner together. I did think about going to the Mission in Boise and seeing if I could help serve the meal for a couple of hours or help clean up.

As for Mick he will be having surgery on Friday. He is still in ICU for now and has still on the ventilator. He has a couple of weeks in the hospital to go. He is very weak but making progress. I have been working with him with moving his legs and sitting up in bed. It has been paying off. He has been getting dialysis for a medication overdose. Other then that I can't wait to bring him home.....

Mick Update

Set back today and feel just so let down. Mick was scheduled for surgery tomorrow (WED) and I had planned to come to Boise, but I get a phone call saying he has pneumonia and cant have surgery and they will re-evaluate it in 3 days again. The Dr's don't think he would benefit from a trech now and I argue that living on a ventilator is not what he wants. I got a little upset today with the whole thing for I looked forward to this being done but I guess I need to pray and have patience. It will all work out I know it will!

Recently I got a call from the social worker for a medical guardian for him and he only has a brother. His brother said he would like me and him to make any decisions for Mick together. That is a change for me. His brother has been so supportive to me.

So Dad and Darlene I will be down on Friday night and will stay for 5 days or more. Don't change the sheets or clean the towels I will be back. Thanks for all your support and having someone to talk to at the end of the day while I am there.

I wonder if God is giving me extra time to relax and rest for I will need it later. I have been so tired lately.